Approval and validation are two words that we seek everyday in every activity that we do. We’re constantly seeking validation from our friends, parents and even strangers. What we don’t realize that we are spending our entire life on the approval of strangers who wont give two shits about us when we’ll need help.
We have been brought up seeking for approval of others. When we were kids every laughter, every clap told us that we’re doing good and we continued doing that. All of our school life we do everything to get accepted, to fit in with the “cool” kids. In this process of seeking approval we change who we actually are and start behaving in a way so as to make the other person happy. What we are forgetting is that in this process that person isn’t liking you, he’s only liking the role that you’re playing.
When I was in school I rarely cared about the opinions of others let alone crave for them. But then came Facebook and then suddenly the opinions of these random strangers started to matter. I wanted them to ‘like’ me,a person having more likes or comments on his posts was now considered to be more likeable than the person who was having less. Now everyone started craving valuation, yearning for adulation. The main reason social networking got so big is our constant need for seeking approval from the likes of others. Of course there’s the networking part but let’s be honest here the only reason we post statuses every other day , check in to every bar/cafe we visit , upload pictures with snapchat filters or duck faces is because we want others to see it and make us feel good about ourselves. Now most of you would argue that we’re just making memories, well why not just buy a hard drive and store all our memories there. And what about snapchat, the photos that you upload last 10 seconds then poof ! so what memories are you saving ?That app thrives on the fact that we have a constant need of showing others how fun we are,how we have it all figured out.
But how much ever you try to not care about the opinions of others but those insecurities do rise up and sort of dwell up on you. I’ve been there and I think we’ve all been there. At some point of life I was the kid who never raised his hands even if I knew the answer,never really volunteered for extra curricular activities. Back then even having a new haircut or expressing my views on a certain topic became challenges. I never even approached a random stranger to make friends . Every decision of mine made me feel afraid of what others would think, will they make fun of my hair or that random stranger would just shrug me off and talk about how creepy and desperate i was with his/her friends.
Then one day it hit me that all of social media is a lie. Facebook, Twitter and all these other networking sites are just a big fat bunch of lies being fed to you to topple your confidence. Every time that I opened these sites all I saw was people holidaying overseas , partying with their friends and other amazing shit, and I always wondered wow my life is dull. But one thing I realized quickly that it’s all about the image that the person sets on the others.People only show their success/ happy stories,never the other way around and that is how social media makes you feel bad about yourself. It tampers with your thinking causing depression for many. It is the #1 validation source now-a-days. If your selfie gets more than 100 likes it’ll bring a smile to your face but if it doesn’t then well you start thinking that maybe you’re doing something wrong, maybe you’ve gotten fat or less attractive. Everybody has problems, they all have issues, we all suffer from something. But people have jumped to social media to show everybody else that they have their life together. And if you are an outsider looking in, you will set yourself up for not being fulfilled in life.
I’m not saying that seeking validation is a bad thing but only as long as your life won’t depend on what people perceive of you. Always seeking the affirmation of others will lead to low self esteem and insecurities. Ultimately how high you rate yourself, your opinion about yourself is the only thing that’ll matter and determine how much you’ll make out of this life.